So I took a survey for MOPS International this week that got me wondering. There were several questions about close friends: How many close friends do you have? How many close friends would you say you trust? Do you have a "safe" friend to go to?
I don't think they wanted you to count your husband, but honestly, thinking of him, I answered that first question with a "1." Sure, I have friends and acquaintances, but close friends? I don't know. Yeah, I've got friends from Orange County that I keep in touch with, but mainly via Facebook. Weekly phone calls or birthday gifts? No, nothing like that.
As for local friends, I've got the moms I know from MOPS and friends at church, but I don't often meet anyone for one-on-one time. I'm not sure why this is. Perhaps it's my introverted tendencies and the fact I never pick up the phone-- haven't done much of that since we lived in Panama 13 years ago and I got out of the habit of phone calls, due to the fact that we didn't have one!
Or is it just the nature of motherhood? Are we so busy with the lives of our families that we don't make time for deeper friendships? There are the park dates and the book clubs, sure, but I feel like I'm probably a big mystery to any of my friends here in Corvallis.
Maybe it's not the nature of motherhood, though. Maybe it just takes time. I remember that after the move to Orange County, it took about two years before I felt like I had any friends that I could call more than acquaintances. And two years later, just before we moved up to Oregon, was when I finally felt like I was getting closer to some of my mom friends.
Well, I certainly hope it isn't 3 years before I feel like I have any "close" friends and maybe it's just me that feels this way. In the interest of being a "mom without a mask" I felt like I should at least share my thoughts and ask if any other moms feel the same...